Day 25: Something I Struggle With

"Your personal life, your professional life, and
your creative life are all intertwined. I went 
through a few very difficult years where I felt
like a failure. But it was actually really important
for me to go through that. Struggle, for me, is the
most inspirational thing in the world at the end 
of the day - as long as you treat it that way."
- Skyler Grey

When brainstorming ideas for this post, it dawned on me just how much I struggle with life in general. I just haven't grasped it yet at all. Just like Skyler Grey, I have gone through life, so far, feeling like a failure. A failure in my personal life, my professional life and my creative life. So I have decided to share a little bit about everything I struggle with in life. Well, maybe not everything - you'd be stuck reading this for the remainder of your life. In fact I'd probably make myself a cup of tea and get comfy if I were you, it's going to be a long one.

- Guilt, saying no and going after what I want. I feel guilty about everything, even if I shouldn't be. I apologise to mannequins when I bump into them. I can never say no when people ask me for a favour because I'd feel so guilty otherwise. And boy do I struggle with going after what I really want! Especially if someone else is going for the same thing or person. 

- Eating healthy. I have no idea how people do it. I have all these healthy recipe ideas in my head but I will make any excuse to not try them. Just today I was telling my dad that I wanted to start eating healthier so he offered me a banana. My reply - "no thanks. Can I have a packet of crisps though please. Actually make that three". 

- I really struggle with being proud of myself. When I accomplish something I don't stop and give myself time to feel proud, I think about how it could have been better. I also compare myself to others quite a bit when it comes to my appearance, personality, even my writing.

- Confidence is a big issue for me. I am a complete weirdo around my family, but in public and even with some of my closest friends, I just don't have the confidence to be me. My body confidence is so low that my Yorkshire Terrier would feel superior in height. Any confidence that comes across is totally fake.

- I've mentioned this a few times in the past but I struggle pretty bad with Depression and Anxiety. This plays a huge part in why I feel like a failure every day of my life. Wondering why the hell I'm on this earth everyday is no way I want to live. 

- I love my sarcastic nature. But sometimes I struggle holding back in certain situations. Sure if my boss asks a dumb question, she definitely deserves a sarcastic answer - but I'd like to keep my job..... Who am I kidding? I don't like my job at all! 

- Why I was chosen to be a girl I will never know! I'm awful. Especially when it comes to applying make-up. I barely put make up on unless I'm going somewhere important or for a special occasion or maybe when I'm going down to the pub. When I do decide to make an effort, it's so minimalist that all these so called 'make up artists' would be rolling their eyes so far back they'd get stuck. It's not even because I can't be bothered, I just genuinely have no clue how to do it. 

"If there is no struggle,
there is no progress"
- Frederick Douglass

If you have any tips for all the above please let me know!

What do you struggle with?

All my love

xo

If you have any questions regarding this post, require advice or just simply want someone to talk to, please don't hesitate to email me at - safehavenanonymousletters@gmail.com - with the subject 'Struggles'.

Don't forget to mention me in your 30 day challenge tweets - @SH_anonletters - for a RT.

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