Day 27: A Letter to my Future Self

Dear future me,

There are some questions I would like to ask you and would like to receive answers for. I know it's only been 5 years since I existed, but a lot can change in 5 years so here are my inquiries which I want you to answer in 5 years time.

Firstly do you remember what it was like to be 20 years old? I recently wrote a letter to my 14 year old self, a person who I have to admit I'm ashamed to identify with. I'd like to think that I've matured and changed, at least a little, since then. So I hope you don't dislike me like I dislike my 14 year old self. I know I have a lot to learn though so hopefully I have matured even more in these past 5 years, but I hope you can look back on me with fondness and not regret.

Secondly, am I still passionate about the little things in life? One thing I can say I do share with my 14 year old self is the optimism I have for life and the ability to get extremely excited over any form of fiction. I hope I still have that passion for fiction in 5 years time. I'm starting university soon, how was it? It's pretty scary thinking that everything I have to wait for are events that you now have captured like photographs in memories. Do I meet someone toxic? Do I make a friend for life? Will this make or break me? I hope it's not the latter.

What do I look like? I just got a fringe so do I still have that fringe? Have you grown your hair out since then or are you still cutting it short?  Do you still wear red lipstick? What's your style like? My style seems to have changed since I last thought would be permanent. And looks aside how is life? Do you have a boyfriend? Do you have a girlfriend? I don't know how much has changed. Maybe you're engaged or with children. No wait 5 years isn't that long, I hope you're not engaged with children. Unless you're happy in which case congratulations. Who is your celebrity crush now? Are they equally as embarrassing as my current? What is your favourite TV show? It better still be Supernatural. Are these things the same? The longest I've loved a show for is 4 years so I hope you still love the things you love now in 5 years time.

Am I a writer? I hope so. Or I at least hope I have a job and I'm doing something I love. I'd hate to think that you've given up on your dreams and passions or are homeless, sleeping on a street corner somewhere.

How are our family and friends? I hope everyone is alive and well. Our little nephew will be 7 now. Does he still like cars and paw patrol? Is our cat still here? I hope so because I love her to bits.

I'm sorry for the 20 questions. It's weird writing a letter to your past self because it almost feels sad knowing that she has to go through all the things you've lived through without the knowledge that you will come out the other side as a new, happy person. But now I feel like that 14 year old all over again, asking my 20 year old self how life will be, knowing I will never know the answer, but that you will. So it's extremely scary thinking about all the good and bad things I have waiting for me; the unknown that I have yet to discover. I hope in 5 years time you can look back on this post and answer all these questions without regret.

I hope life is good. Love from yourself at 20.

~Z.L
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If you have any questions regarding this post, require advice or just simply want someone to talk to please don'y hesitate to email me at - safehavenanonymousletters@gmail.com - with the subject 'Future Self'.

 Don't forget to mention me in your 30 day challenge tweets - @SH_anonletters - for a RT.

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