FIVE DAY COUNTDOWN TO 2018: A letter to my future self

Dear 30 year old me ,

If you're still alive to read this then congratulations, and I'm proud of you. I'm currently 20, so as you know I am currently at the peak of my depression and anxiety and my whole life is a complete mess. There's not much I can say to you right now because I can't currently picture me having a a future. But their are a few questions I want to know the answer to, presuming you have gotten through this stage of our life.


Am I working? What is my occupation? I hope I am a full time blogger. I really hope that you didn't give that up. If I have won the euro millions then woop!

Am in a relationship? Started a family? I wanted to be settled down by 30, with a husband and children. I hope you have kept to the names I have always wanted - Esme, Riley and Nate.

Am I still living in Liverpool? I hope you got to travel before settling down. I hope I'm still in Liverpool, that's home. I can't imagine me wanting to be away from my family at any age.

Do I still struggle with my mental health? I know it will always be there but I like to think that I'm in a better place 10 years on.

Are the friend's I have at 20 still in my life at 30? I can't imagine my life without them.

Did anything come of the secret project I'm working on right now?

Am I over Stefan's death from The Vampire Diaries? I have a hunch that I'll never be over that.

Most importantly, am I happy?

Here's me wondering whether I managed to fight the suicidal thoughts and come out the other side, when you may not be here because Donald Trump has probably fucked the world up. What's the damage? Did he start WW3? Did he get elected for a second term? God I hope not.

I hope you remember everyday how much you love to write, how much you love to spend time with your family, and I hope that 2017 is a distant memory for you.

Wish me luck.

- Your 20 year old self.



Tomorrow's post;

FIVE DAY COUNTDOWN TO 2018: Letters to my loved ones


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