WOMEN'S WEDNESDAY | calling all the single ladies

There's pda every where you look, restaurants packed full of couples, the high street looks like one big red blur, and your social media is one giant online card factory. Yep, it's Valentines day. The day that divides the world in to two categories - Loved up relationships and Sad lonely singletons.

But I for one don't fall in to either category. I see my self as an independent woman who don't need no man/woman. And that is how every woman should see themselves. Don't let yourself be thought of as a miserable woman sitting at home crying into a tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream all because you don't have anyone to spoon in bed tonight. Make it known to the world that yes you may be single, but you're also living your life to the full, and you're doing it all on your own terms because you're a strong-ass woman! 

But if you need a little push to get you to believe that flying solo is a kick-ass way to live, then I've got your back! By the end of this post you're going to feel empowered, strong, independent, and ready to kick life's butt without anyone holding you down.
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GET INSPIRED TO BE EMPOWERED
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"Sometimes 'I'm single' means I'm drama free,
less stressed, and refuse to settle for less."
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"YES... I'm single. And you'll have to be fucking
amazing to change that."
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"The most profound relationship we'll ever have
is the one with ourselves."
- Shirley Maclane
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"I've been single for a while and I have to say,
it's going very well. Like...It's working out.
I think I'm the one."
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"Being single is smarter than being
in the wrong relationship."
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"Single - is not a status. It is a word that
describes a person who is strong enough
to live and enjoy life without depending on others."
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"Being single used to mean nobody wanted you.
Now it means you're pretty, sexy, and you're
taking your time deciding how you want your
life to be and who you want to spend it with."
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"The best thing about being single is sleeping around.
You can sleep all over that bed of yours.
Left. Right. Middle. Wherever."
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"Stay single until someone actually complements
your life in a way that it makes it better to not
be single. If not, it's not worth it."
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"Appreciate being single because that's when
you grow the most and with that growth,
you come to know what you're looking for."
- Daniel Goddard
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"If you're single, focus on being a better you
instead of looking for someone better than your
ex. A better you will attract a better next."
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"Instead of 'single' as a marital status, they
should have 'independently owned and operated'."
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"Yes I am currently single. No, that doesn't
mean there is something wrong with me." 
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"Fuck Happy Valentines Day.
You're single and fabulous. "
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[my bestie is going to look at this gif like YAAAASSSS]
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"A busy, vibrant, goal-oriented woman is so much
more attractive than a woman who waits around
for a man to validate her existence."
- Mandy Hale
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"Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love,
dream for love...but don't put your life on
 hold waiting for love."
- Mandy Hale
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"If you learn to really sit with loneliness and embrace it
for the gift that it is...an opportunity to get to know YOU,
to learn how strong you really are, to depend on no one but
YOU for your happiness...you will realise that a little
loneliness goes a LONG way in creating a richer, 
deeper, more vibrant and colourful YOU."
- Mandy Hale
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"Single is no longer a lack of options - but a choice.
A choice to refuse to let your life be defined by your
relationship status but to live every day happily
and let your ever after work itself out. Whether or not
you have someone in the passenger seat, you
are still the driver of your own life and can take
whatever road you choose. So the next
time you hit a speed bump, otherwise known
as the age-old question, "Why are you still single?"
look 'em in the eye and say, 'Because I'm
too strong, too smart, and too fabulous to settle'."
- Mandy Hale
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"Single bells, single bells, single all
the way. Oh what fun it is to see couples
fight all day. Hey!"
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5 QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF
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Still feeling crap about being single this valentines day?

If you are, ask yourself these questions and answer honestly.
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1. Am I happy?
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Forget about flying solo today for one minute.
Are you happy with where you are at right now?

If you answered yes then you where already happy being
single, so you just have a case of the V Day blues, brought on
by ridiculous social stereotypes and public perception.

If you answered no, then being in a relationship is not the
thing that is going to bring you happiness. You need to work
on you first. You need to find your own happiness in life
before you start to share your life with another person.
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2. Am I living my single life to the full?
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If you're devoting all of your time trying to find a long term
relationship - stop. You may be emotionally ready to settle
down but it's very rare that you can just walk out the door
and your Mr/Miss Right is ready and waiting. So what if
it takes you 3 months or 1 year or 5 years before you finally
meet the person you're supposed to be with? You would
have just wasted a portion of your life searching for something
that would have found you eventually anyway if it was
meant to be. There's no return on wasted time.

If you're hoeing it about then good for you! You're
only young once, it's nothing to be ashamed of - men do it!

But no matter what you're doing, it's really important that
you use this time to find yourself, to love yourself and to
achieve any life goals you want to achieve before you get tied
down and start the next beautiful chapter of your life with
someone special.
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3. What kind of relationship do I deserve?
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If you're at the stage in your life where you're seeing someone
and it might have the potential to turn into something serious,
just ask yourself this one question. Don't enter a relationship
because it took you a long time to find this person and you don't
want to risk not finding someone else. Because for one; you
don't love them like you're supposed to, two; there is someone
that is made for you out there and you may never meet them
because you were too scared to wait, and three; the person
that you settle for is also missing out on an epic love because
you're wrong for each other.

It takes a pretty strong woman to be able to stay single in a
world that seems to push safety over risk, a world that has
become accustomed to settling with anything or anyone
just so they can say they have something. But you don't
really have anything if it means nothing to you.

It's okay to have standards. In fact, it's essential and smart.

Never settle for anything less than what you deserve.

You deserve to find your epic love.

You may just have to have a lot of patience and a little faith.
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4. What have my past relationships taught me?
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I am a firm believer that everyone who has been in your
life was there for a reason. Maybe your past relationships
ended badly and you hate them, but they where in your life
for a reason. There are lessons to be taken out of every
experience - good or bad.

So what have your past relationships taught you?
Sometimes it's not obvious to us that we have learnt
lessons at all, never mind what we've learnt.

I'm sure many of you will say something like;
"I learnt not to date any more fuck-boys!"

Which is true, definitely don't do that.
But you need to look deeper. These people have taught
us; what we do and don't deserve from a partner, what
we want and deserve in life, what kind of people we
shouldn't fall for.

If you truly acknowledge the lessons you've gained,
you will be able to use them to grow as a person,
and not only better your life, but better any future relationships.
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5. Do I have enough self confidence to truly be single?
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Unless you're 100% confident and comfortable with who you
are as a person and how you look, then being single can
be tough. It's natural to crave validation from people when
you lack self confidence. I used to be the exact same.

It's as if I needed to hear people compliment me to know
my worth. But it's you who has to discover your own worth.

Unless you're perfectly content with being single, which
I now am, you always think the grass is greener on the
other side. Which it may not be.

You will have more of a chance of being in a healthy
relationship that is right for you if you go into that as a
more strong, confident and independent version of you.
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5 WAYS TO BUILD YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE
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Did that last question make you realise that you maybe
don't have enough self-confidence to fully take advantage
of being single?

Here's 5 ways to build your self-confidence. They work
and fail depending on the person, so you still have a lot
of work to do on your own but I hope this gives you the
kick-start that you need to find a more confident you.

I also touched on self confidence in a previous post - Just Do You.
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1. Swap out negativity for positivity
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In my opinion, this is the most important step on your
journey to self-confidence.

Who and what we surround ourselves with greatly
influences who we are, our attitudes, our goals
and our lifestyle.

If you have big dreams and a clear vision for your
life then you need to rid yourself of all negative
influences in your life. It may be harsh but
it's definitely healthy.

Surround yourself with positivity and your
incentive to go after what you want in life will
be unstoppable.
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2. Look how you want to look
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This one seems obvious but it's surprisingly difficult for
some people to do.

Want to dye your hair electric blue?
Do it.

Have a quirky, unique style?
Rock it!

Our appearance is heavily influenced by the people
we surround ourselves with. You don't have to blend in.
You don't have to look like everyone else.

There is only one of you.

Your body, your appearance, your decision.
Your confidence comes from within.

You're a freaking queen whether you decide to stick
with the body you came in or if you change it.
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3. Fake it 'till you make it
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You don't become completely self confident over night.
It takes a while for you to feel like the queen I know you are.

So fake it 'till you make it.

How do I fake confidence you ask?
Here's 4 tips to pull off an Oscar-worthy performance.

~Strut like you own the street you're walking down~
A bad-ass strut screams confidence!
And it slowly builds your actual confidence up
as well so that's a bonus. So keep on strutting, even
when you're annoyed by the fact that your sock is sliding off.

 ~It's all in the eyes~
Keep your head held high and try not to look down
at the floor. There's nothing exciting going on down
there, the pavement is grey - I'll let you know if it changes.
I know eye contact can be seriously awkward but
try and power-through because you'll be giving off
a lot of confident vibes!

But not like this;

~say cheese!~
You know that really quick smile you have to
plaster on your face when someone surprises
you with picture time? Well use that smile even when
there's no cameras. Happiness and confidence appear
one in the same.

~speak clearly~
Stop the mumbling and the super fast talking.
Slow it down and speak clearly. This is one
of the main attributes of a confident person.
But don't talk to slow, you don't want people to get bored.
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4. Set goals and then more goals
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Making lists and setting goals is a really great way
to bring more organisation and positivity to your life
which, in turn, helps your self-confidence.

How? Well if you set yourself weekly or monthly
goals, it gives you something to strive towards.
Each time you achieve one of your short term goals,
it puts your life into focus step by step.

I find that the more organised a person is, the more
positive they are. The more positive a person is,
the more happiness they feel. And the happier
they are, the more confident they are.

It's just a domino affect that is taking it's
sweet-ass time.
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5. Giving up is not an option
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Never accept defeat. No matter how many times
things get hard.

All you have to do is look at things from a different
perspective. There's no use in taking the same exact
route you took the first, second and third time round.
That is, literally, the definition of insanity - doing the
same thing over and over again but expecting a different
result.

There is always a way, you just have to take a
different route. You can't always take the shortcut
to your destination. Nothing in life, that's worth
something, is ever easy.

If you give in to defeat you will just end up back
at square one. Genuinely back at square one - full
of negativity.

Power through, you can do it!
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5 SINGLE- FRIENDLY THINGS TO DO THIS V.DAY
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My plans this valentines day involve cocktails, friends,
laughter, more cocktails and probably pizza.

In fact I'll probably be 3 Lucky Charms in as your
reading this.
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1. Treat yo' self 
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Be your own valentine and treat yourself to some
guilt-free spending. You deserve it!

You could update your wardrobe, extend your
shoe collection, get a new do, or give your nails
some much needed tlc.

Or you could go all out and get a relaxing
massage.
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2. A 'hotties only' movie night
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Get a bottle - or ten- of wine, a tub of the finest
ice cream and a giant box of malteasers.

Then gather all the movies starring your celeb
crushes and enjoy the show.

Enjoy the peace and sexiness by yourself or invite
all of your single friends and make it a Galentines day!
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3. Make the most of couple deals
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Get your single bestie and fake being a couple for
the day to take advantage of the day's many couple
deals.

Food, drinks, massage's at a cheap prize with
your best friend? That sounds like a pretty good
Valentines day to me.
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4. Dream gym time
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What better day to get a few hours gym time in
than today. It'll be pretty empty. And you never know,
you might meet some new friends.
[insert wink emoji here because I don't know how]
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5. Drink, dance, drink and....drunk
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Gather all your single friends, get dolled up
and go out and have some FUN!

A holiday calendar date is the perfect excuse
to spend money on a night out.

Not like you needed one, but I'm always trying
to justify my spends.
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I hope you all have a fun, love-filled day as strong, independent women.


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