WOMEN'S WEDNESDAY | body shaming and misogynistic assholes

"My great hope for us as young women is to
start being kinder to ourselves so that we
can be kinder to each other. To stop shaming
ourselves and other people; 'too fat, too skinny,
too short, too tall, too anything.' There's a
sense that we're all 'too' something. This is life.
Our bodies change. Our minds change.
Our hearts change."
- Emma Stone
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BODY SHAMING
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"When you judge a woman by her
appearance, it doesn't define her,
it defines you."
- Steve Maraboli
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Toward the end of last year I took a break from social media because I honestly couldn't deal with the amount of body shaming comments that gets said to women. It really angers me when I see people put other people down for absolutely no reason. The way I look at it is; if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all. There's a huge difference between expressing your opinion (which I encourage) and insulting someone because you don't like they way they look. 

"We are more than just our
bodies, but that doesn't
mean we have to be shamed
for them or our sexuality."
- Emily Ratajkowski

It's not ok. Not by a long shot. I don't know about you, but I love it when I see a woman comfortable, content and confident in the way she looks. I hope you agree with me when I say that no person, man or woman, should be made to feel ashamed of their body. I have never been able to understand why some people feel the need to tell somebody that they look too skinny, too fat, that they have a flat chest, that they have no bum, that they look too white or too black, that their hands or feet are too big, or their hair and face aren't attractive. What do those people get out of making comments like that? Because there's no such thing as the wrong body. 

"I love myself & if you could
say the same you wouldn't be
sitting on your computer
trying to hurt others."
- Miley Cyrus

That's the only reason I can think of as to why people are so quick to body shame - because they don't love themselves and they're jealous of the people that accept, embrace and love their bodies. Unless they are just that close-minded that they think there's only one body type that's beautiful. If that's the case then I honestly feel sorry for those people. It's such a sad life to live; women putting other women down. It shouldn't be like that. Women can't demand equal respect if they can't respect each other. 
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A WOMAN SHOULDN'T HAVE
TO BE MODEST TO BE RESPECTED
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"It's not my responsibility to be 
beautiful. I'm not alive for that 
purpose. My existence is not about 
how desirable you find me."
-Warsan Shire
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I can't quite believe that this is still a day to day problem. Our lives have been shaped by misogyny for generations. This isn't just a philosophical debate, this is our goddamn lives. 

Before I turned 18 and didn't know any better, I thought my beauty was decided by how men viewed me and how many compliments or whistles I received whilst walking down the street. But catcalling is definitely not a compliment. The cat-caller doesn't want to date you. He knows that you aren't going to jump into his arms after he whistles at you as if you're a dog, and shouts "nice ass". Men do it to reinforce the idea that they have power over us. And it's somehow became the norm.

"Girls are not machines that you
put kindness coins into until
sex falls out."
- Sylvia Plath

Writing this reminded me of a time in high school when girls where told not to wear coloured bra's under our white shirts as it's a distraction. I asked it then and I'll ask it now - who was distracted? Dumb-ass boys who should be focusing on his work? Or a 30 year old teacher whose eyes shouldn't be wondering south of our faces? Women are constantly being sexualised, unless you're a sexual woman in which case you're demonised. For example - when a celebrities nudes are leaked, men are buzzing about it. But when a woman voluntarily takes part in a nude photoshoot for a magazine, men don't like it. So what...it's only acceptable when a woman is being objectified without giving permission? 


Dear twisted-rapist assholes,                                        

Wearing a short skirt is not an invitation to sexually   
assault me. Nor is being drunk, making eye contact  
for two seconds, smiling at you, or flirting.                

* * *

I'm sure I'm not the only person that's tired of hearing "I'm sure she/he asked for it". By definition rape cannot be asked for. Nobody gets sexually assaulted because they were walking alone, or because they didn't have a rape whistle. The only factor that causes rape is rapists. So we shouldn't be told how to dress, they should be told not to rape.
________________________________________________________

"Culture stereo-types women to fit the myth
by flattening the feminine into beauty-
without-intelligence or intelligence-
without-beauty; women are allowed a
mind or a body but not both."
- Naomi Wolf

You can be both. You can be whoever and whatever you want to be.

4 comments:

  1. LOVED this post beautiful babe! It's filled with nothing but truth and all the gorgeous empowerment and girl power this world needs. I couldn't agree more with you on everything you said, it's so hard to live in such a spiteful world and social media can reinforce such cruelty to others when it comes to other people bringing people down. That's so sad about the story from high school, it's madness that you were told you couldn't wear colourful bras as it was a distraction! I don't know when men will realise catcalling is not a compliment and is actually totally repulsive (and makes them look nothing but totally repulsive too), but I'm so glad more people are speaking out about issues like this such as your incredible self, you are a true inspiration :)

    I've never understood why people put down other people, seriously what's in it for them except for looking like a total asshole? I honestly think they're just bitter and sad and as you said, have no love for themselves to have to reflect that shame and bad feeling onto other people. A lot of people seem to hide behind a keyboard and you can bet anything they'd never have the guts to say any of those horrible things in real life but then again I've had my fair share of nasty remarks made to me by work colleagues in the past; one girl made a remark that I had no boobs and even though I laughed it off, I was really hurt and it affected me for ages. I only hope that one day these people realise how damaging and harmful they've been to others and feel nothing but guilt and shame, and can hopefully build on from those feelings to become better human beings <3

    Sophie | soinspo xo

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    1. Thank you so much for reading and commenting beautiful! I can't believe that someone said that to you! An image of the 'perfect' woman has been created and if we don't fit into that box then we're nothing more than average and apparently open to scrutiny. It's disgusting and completely baffles me that this is still happening in 2018.

      -Han.xo

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  2. I hate the blame that is put on women all the bloody time. You were raped? Your fault. You were cat called. Your fault. You were called a slut? Your fault. Makes me so mad that we as women are treated like a piece of meat yet still given the responsibility of it being our doing when we get assaulted. I watched a fashion show recently that had people of all ages, sizes, races, disabilities and genders and it was incredible for the diversity but also for the confidence they exuded. I was memorised by them because they were strong and empowering and I would love women everywhere to feel like this. People say it's a shocking statistic when nearly every woman raises their hand when asked if they've been catcalled but honestly, it's not shocking at all. We are all more than aware it's happening, just most offenders don't want to admit how damaging, degrading and disgusting it is. Great post, it's got me all fired up now!!

    my20staughtme.wordpress.com

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    Replies
    1. I agree with every single word you've just said lovely! I'm glad you liked this post. Thinking about women's reality get's me all fired up as well babe.

      Love, Han -xo

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