I'm a duff and that's ok!


  • Designated Ugly Fat Friend
  • The least attractive out of a group of friends.
Now you know how much I hate labels, but I am a duff. And I hate to break it to you but so are you. We're all duffs. Don't worry I'm not calling you ugly or fat, the label isn't supposed to be taken literally. I definitely don't consider myself to be ugly and fat.

I first heard the term a few years ago when I watched a movie called 'The Duff'. When I left the cinema I had ailed to recognise the lesson intended. Instead I left the cinema thinking "Damn, I'm the duff". And that really stuck with me. I've always had major insecurities when it comes to my cousin. She is so insanely beautiful, and although I am proud of the woman she is, I have always felt very jealous. She has always, unintentionally and unknowingly, made me feel like the ugly duckling.

Now, although my insecurities are still there, they are gradually being diminshed by my ever-growing self love. 'The Duff' has become a favourite of mine. I recognise the lesson now; we're all duffs. Every single one of us. No matter who you are, there is always going to be someone who is more attractive, more educated or more talented than you. We are all somebody's duff, and you should remember that before you let it affect how you see yourself.

When your insecurities get a bit overwhelming, just remember these 6 things:

- It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you if you allow it.

- The things we see on social media, in magazines, or on screen are altered to perfection. The way we view ourselves has been distorted by socially constructed ideas of 'beauty'. It's all bullshit. Perfect does not exist. 

- Embrace your flaws and love the things that make you unique.

- It's not what you are that is holding you back. It's what you think you are not.

- Don't focus on what you like about other people, focus on the things you like about yourself.

- "A rose can never be a sunflower, and a sunflower can never be a rose. All flowers are beautiful in their own way..." - Miranda Kerr. There is only one of you, no one can take that away from you. So embrace who you are and bloom.

Love, a fellow duff. xo


  1. This is a great post! I also came out of the movie theater thinking that I was a duff also when I watched the film... But you are totally right that everyone is a duff and that is okay! I think it is so important for people to love themselves and realize that they are unique and PERFECT for who they are. It doesn't matter what people think about you; it just matter what you think about yourself :D Great post - I'm a new follower <3
    -Jenna <3
    Follow me back? The Chic Cupcake

    1. Thank so much for your kind comment Jenna. We're all equally special, it's just that there are different versions of special.

      -Han. xo

  2. I remember watching The Duff with a group of friends and within minutes of it starting they were all hysterical laughing because we all realised I was and have always been the duff of all of my friends. I am completely ok with it, I love my individuality and my quirkiness that makes me, me! Love this post!

    Abi xo | www.wanderlustdaydreaming.co.uk

    1. I love that you embrace who you are! There's only one of you in this world and you shine bright.

      Love, Han xo


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