9 Things You Shouldn't Have To Ask For In A Relationship

Sex and Relationships Blog

There are no two relationships that are exactly the same. There are many personal needs you could want your partner to meet; and sometimes you have to spell it out for them. But I believe that there are 9 things that no one should ever have to ask for in a loving relationship.

"The wrong person makes you
beg for attention, affection, love and
commitment. The right person gives
you these things because they love you."
- Sonya Parker

1. Affection

When I was single I hated PDA. I didn't understand why a couple had to constantly hold hands or kiss or touch each other. But now that I'm in a loving relationship, I get it. Acts of affection shows the other person that you truly do care and that you only want to be next to that person. Which is something you should never have to ask your partner to show you.

2. Attention

I'm not talking about replying to a message within 30 seconds or constantly being joined at the hip. But your partner should automatically turn all of their attention to you when you're together. If your quality time together solely consists of you waiting for them to put their phone down and acknowledge your presence, then I think you two should be having a talk. 

3. Compassion

Compassion can often get lost in relationships after a lengthy time together. But it's vital that you don't forget it completely. For instance, let's say that your partner is dealing with issues at work that is resulting in a great deal of stress and panic. Your partner may begin to take that anger and frustration out on you without truly knowing it. This can quite easily turn into a huge argument and put a real dent into the relationship. But who does that help? Not you, and it certainly doesn't help your partner. So what do you do? You practice compassion. Put yourself in your partners shoes and imagine how they're feeling and understand that they are not intentionally trying to upset you. Through that you can begin to truly help your partner and eventually when they begin to see more clearly again, you can talk to them and they can put themselves in your shoes and show you the same amount of compassion that you demonstrated to them.

4. Consideration

As much as I truly believe that being your own individual person even when in a relationship is important, I also believe that when you're in a committed and serious relationship you should always consider your partner's feelings before making any big decisions that could affect them or the relationship. Considering the affects a decision could have on the one you love before you make it, is something that should never have to be asked of.  

5. Honesty

Every healthy relationship is built on a foundation of honesty and trust, because without it, no relationship can survive no matter how close you are. If I have to explain why you need to be honest in a relationship then I think you have a problem.

6. Introductions

Imagine attending one of your partners work parties and you have to ask "are you going to introduce me?" That would suck right? Your partner should be bursting with pride and excitement to introduce the person they love. If you find yourself in an unfortunate position where you have to ask that question then you also need to ask yourself and your partner why that is.

7. Loyalty

You shouldn't have to ask your partner to be loyal. Everyone knows that right? Well apparently not, because there are still people out there that clearly didn't get the memo. When you love someone with all of your heart, body and mind, you don't look elsewhere. Loyalty shouldn't even be a conversation in a relationship. It should just exist.

8. Reassurance

Does your partner love you? Do you have a future with them? You should know the answer without having to ask. When somebody loves you, you can see it in their eyes, in the way they act around you and the way that they talk about you. You should never have to ask for reassurance on whether they love you or not, because you should both automatically reassure each other everyday. You should never be left wondering where you stand. 

9. Respect

Respect is not an option in a relationship, it's a requirement. You should accept each other's personality. You should respect each other's boundaries and you should listen to what each other has to say. Love is not a reason to tolerate disrespect because respect is as important as love in a relationship. Without respect, there is no love. It's that simple.

I would love to hear your thoughts and opinions on today's post so please, leave a comment down below.

Love, Han


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  1. This is such an important post, full of truth and wisdom gorgeous girl! Thank you so much for sharing it with the world, it's so relatable and powerful. I have no doubt that it'll uplift and help a lot of people out there, whether they're in a relationship or not. I agree with everything you said in this post, having been in a long term relationship myself for nearly nine years everything you said was spot on for me! You are so right in the fact that respect is a requirement, the same for compassion and consideration <3

    Sophie | soinspo xo

    1. Your comments absolutely make my day! Thank you so much for your kind words beautiful!


  2. I love reading relationship advice! Even though I am in a steady relationship I still sit down with my boyfriend and communicate about our relationship. It’s important to be honest and share your concerns ever so often. Love your post!


    1. Thank you so much Corynn. Communication is definitely the key to a good relationship!

      Love, Han xo

  3. Great information, sometimes we have to take a long look at ourselves & make decisions.

  4. This post has certainly made me more aware of what a relationship should be like and has made me realise that my last relationship was missing the majority of these things and I often had to ask for the ones that were missing, but didn't really think of them as requirements, but this has made me think differently and to know to make sure that these are all in any future relationships I might have

    1. I'm so glad that this post has helped you lovely.

      Love, Han xo

  5. I love your clarity! People of all ages should have this list of requirements. If a majority of these qualities aren't showing up in a relationship, unhappiness will surely follow.

    1. Thank you so much. It doesn't matter the age, every relationship needs these things to survive.

      Han, xo

  6. This is such an important topic and these points show how you're valued as a partner.

  7. Well said. All of these things shouldn't need to be asked for, they should be something that is automatically given.

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  9. Love this! It seems like such common sense; however, I've been stuck in a horrible relationship thinking that I was the problem and I didn't deserve any of these things! Glad that you're writing about this!

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