Living With Toxicity

Personal Lifestyle Blog


I can't recall a time when I haven't lived with toxicity.

I grew up in a house where I had to be the parent emotionally.
I was given a roof,
and with it the responsibility of keeping the house together.
I was given food,
and with it the responsibility of feeding their ego's.
I was given water to bathe,
and with it the responsibility of being their carer.

I grew up in a house where I couldn't be me.
I was given a sketch pencil,
only to be told I would fail.
I was given a mirror,
only to be told I was ugly.
I was given a dress,
only to be told I was a slut.

I can't recall a time when I haven't lived with toxicity.

I live in a house where I don't matter.
I'm given a smile,
only to be made to feel unhappy, again.
I'm given a hug,
only to be made to feel unwanted, again.
I'm given an apology,
only to be made to feel hurt, again.

I live in a house where I've lost myself.
I'm never insulted,
yet I feel shamed.
I'm surrounded by people,
yet I feel alone.
I'm free to come and go,
yet I feel trapped.

I can't recall a time when I haven't lived with toxicity.


and I believe I deserve better.

Love, Han

xo

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